The Beginning

Dating in my 30s whats it all about?

I guess to tell you my journey I need to go back to the beginning, 2 years ago to be exact. I hadn’t dated for years and had no idea what shocks i was in for with the online dating game, and yes I say game because it is all a game. It was all my friends idea and i wasn’t expecting much.

I couldn’t believe all the attractive guys that were single and who were messaging me. I started talking to quite a few men and I have to admit it did give me a little bit of confidence boost that was really needed.

After coming across the obvious fake profiles, dating disasters or married men, i did eventually get talking to some really interesting characters. I did go on a few dates and it gave me the confidence to go on more and more. Over a 18 month period i did go on a lot of dates and i mean a lot. I would say approx 40. Some of the dates i don’t remember much about, i think i have blurred some of it intentionally out. No matter how many dates i went on though i was still as nervous as the first.

One of my first dates was very rememberable though. I will call him policeman because that was his job. He was recently separated. He had been with his wife for over 10 years but had only actually got married six months ago. His wife had just got up one morning and told him she didn’t love him anymore. He was currently living with his parents until his marital home had been sold. I didn’t mind about that though. We all go through bad times and breakups. Its not always about where you are but where you intend to go.

I had been talking to him for a couple of weeks. He seemed really nice and had a really good sense of humour and was quite attractive. We had agreed to meet in a wine bar one Friday night. That whole day i didn’t eat much, I was so nervous. I couldn’t believe this attractive nice guy wanted to go on a date with little me. I took the afternoon off work and spent hours getting ready. Doing my hair, makeup and I actually felt pretty good for a self conscious person. I was just so keen to impress him.

As i approached the bar i felt sick with nerves. What if he didn’t like me, what if it wasn’t him? To my delight he was as handsome as his pictures and he seemed a decent guy. We spent a few hours chatting and because he was a policeman i relaxed more than i should have. It got to about 10,11ish and i was quite worse for wear. I had been drinking a glass of wine to his pint of lager. Bad mistake!

His parents were away on holiday and because i was quite drunk he insisted I went home with him but he assured me he would sleep on the sofa. I think it was a lapse in judgement on my part. Partially due to my naivety and partially due to how intoxicated i was, i agreed to go home with him.

I really did expect him to sleep on the sofa and let me sleep off the drink but that did not happen. I wont bore you with the details but neither of us slept alone. I remember waking up thinking omg this is not you. I had gone all way through my life and at 32 had my first one night stand. I know its no big deal right? But the thing that upset me the most was how vulnerable i had made myself and how lucky i was that he was a decentish guy.

The other thing i forgot to mention was me and my best friend had a pact for when we were on dates. Always let the other one know we were safe and ok. That night what ever i had messaged my friend she had sensed i was very drunk. She messaged me while i was at the guys house and i had replied saying i was at his house but had no idea where that was. I woke to lots of missed calls and messages from my friend saying she was worried she had not heard from me. Thats the other part that i was upset about. I had made her worry so much. I messaged her straight back that all was well. She eventually forgave me.

After that I didn’t really hear from the policeman. We both agreed it was a mistake and that was that. The only thing i took away from that chapter was i thought i had learnt a key lesson, little did i know……

Thank you for reading chapter one of my dating saga. It can only get better right? How wrong could i have been……

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